Wednesday, 6 November 2024

Lion Hugs

You know that feeling when you’re about to cry and break down and you’re doing EVERYTHING you can to hold it together and you’re doing so well, and then someone says “hey, what’s up” or gives you a hug and it all just falls apart? Maybe that’s too specific of an analogy (I’m sure someone will relate), but that’s what the lion feels like to me sometimes. 

Under the cloth is a very safe place to me. It’s warm, it’s soft, I can’t see anything, and best of all- I don’t exist. We talk about “tails needing to be invisible”. At the surface level, this means don't casper and keep up with the head. But while that makes you physically invisible, I think it still can cause a visible separation between head and tail. Not one people would identify, but maybe they would still notice. 

I try to be invisible by adding more. By making the lion seem more like one living breathing rather than two living sections. And for me, I think I like being invisible in the lion. Because it feels so safe, my emotions tend to catch up to me under the cloth. I start to crash more often when under the lion, but because people can’t physically see me, I can usually stay going. Moreso on autopilot, but oh whale. 

Will do another blog with numbers by end of weekend. 

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