Silver Linings

I’ve been struggling to write a blog about my injury for, well, a long time. Since it started bugging me, I guess. And that was in the middle of summer. It’s one of those things where something seems to change every few days, and my views on one day are totally different than they are from a few days earlier. I’ve been frustrated with a lot, but here’s a few of my silver linings.  

I think, for the first time ever, I have questions. I think an injury has the ability to greatly increase a persons eye for detail; at full health, things come super easy. A good example of this is slipping (ie slipping away from a punch), which is something we’ve done a lot of in the Sanda seminar. I’ve come to realize that I usually slip with my upper body (above my waist level); it originated from my lower back. Or at the very least, it was hybridized. Slightly enough that it wasn’t noticeable, but enough to take away my effectiveness. Now, when I try to slip that way, it hurts my back. This helped generate a question about proper slipping technique, which got me an answer that clicked a lot of things together that I didn’t even realize could go together.  

I can try and chalk this notice up to eye for detail, but in reality, my body did most of the work. We always talk about “listening to our bodies”; I think that’s easier for me to do when my body is screaming at me (who would have thought?). However, because I had this laid out so clearly for me by my body, I was actually able to make the connections and learn something. If I was healthy, I probably never would have reached that point. 

This seems like a good spot to include a few pieces of guidance I’ve received from some of the master instructors over the last few months. The first is to not be afraid to modify techniques if I can’t do them properly, but always be conscious of the modification and visualize the proper technique. In essence, one of the many manifestations of mindfulness in repetitions. This has been instrumental for my development in Tai Chi; there are techniques I was finally figuring out how to do properly, but I no longer can do without bothering my back. Instead of losing this progress, I am gaining through the mindful repetitions. Another guidance I received was to, in essence, work backwards, make connections; what am I doing that makes things sore or uncomfortable, and what am I doing in everything that leads up to it. It’s hard to put to words in the way I was told, but that’s the essence of it.