The Usual Review

Now that the Rooster is out and the Dog is in, I think the time is appropriate to look back on my Rooster year.

Every year should be our best year, just as how every day we go to sleep better then when we woke. I didnt quite see this in every aspect of this year. I found that my numbers lacked, my blogging routine was abysmal, and commitment wavered. Yet my Kung Fu still received improvement. It came to my attention that my year, whilst nowhere near what I wanted it, wasnt bad. But it was in comparison to my Monkey year that made me frown upon it. And with that said, I realized how good of a year the Monkey was.

I went into the Monkey year with several problems with my emotional state, and I was very unstable throughout the year. Several times I had to leave the mats and sit in the changeroom and try to control my breathing, and myself. However, throughout the year I fought against these issues, and by the end of the year, I was more or less in control of my own mind again. After that hugely successful year, it was difficult to come into the Rooster. What I had been working to overcome the last year and a half was beneath me, and I had that sense of loss. Not the kind of loss as one feels when they lose a loved one or prized belonging, no. But a loss of the path, of direction, of clarity.

I didnt know what to do going in to the year, because I didnt feel as though I were fighting for something anymore. My Kung Fu felt almost... unnecessary. I struggled with this concept. Kung Fu was necessary, it was the way of life I had adopted, so why did it feel like I didnt need it?

Because I had given it a purpose. I used the Kwoon and the forms and the people as a method to cope with one of the biggest impacts I had on my life, and with the support I received, I took that impact down. But without that purpose, what was I to do? I needed a new purpose to apply my Kung Fu to. So for a few months, I tried, to no prevail, to find something else I could dedicate my training and practice towards, and yet as much as I looked, I found nothing. And then, while we were on the other side of Canada on our family adventure, I found it.

But I hadnt had found it for the first time. I rediscovered it. Throughout this trip, being in the same vehicle with 6 others takes it toll, and frequently I would walk off on my own. It was on one of these walks, I was giving thought to the matter, when I realized it was under my nose the whole time. Kung Fu didnt need a constant challenge to overcome, a new obstacle to face when the next was in the past. Kung Fu's purpose was to improve you, and no one else. It was to make you a better person every single second of every day, and to give you a life of improvement. And I didnt have to give up on my old challenge. My state of mind, I realized, will deteriorate to what it was if I don't continue to build it and defend it.

It was rather late in the year that I started putting this new thought process in the form of my Kung Fu, but its in motion now. Now its there for this year, the Dog year, and thats why my Rooster year was indeed my best year. The Monkey was my best year when it happened, but now, the Rooster is my best year. And in 365 days, the Dog will be my best year.