July Lessons

This month kinda whirred right past me, if I’m being honest. Like, before I knew it, bam. August. Blogging got away on me too. I’ve been working on some blogs that I have good ideas for, but my brain isn’t producing the words I want it to, yknow? So I figured I would share some progress updates and gratitudes from the last month. 

Work has been tough; it feels like I haven’t done much which isn’t really okay. I kinda got stuck in a “goofy loop” where I wasn’t able to get any traction with my caseload. That said, I also have been trying to recognize what I HAVE done. I took close to half of the month off, and in that time I’ve made good progress on a few files. Since I still expect more from myself, Ive been using the positive feelings and motivation as much as I can to kickstart the stuff I really don’t feel like doing. 

Kung Fu has been good. I’ve gotten to do a lot of lion dancing work; coming up with new moves and techniques has been a lot of fun and it’s given me a lot of motivation to be on the mats. I’ve also had a lot of breakthrough progress with Tai Chi, and I continue to come into my own. I’ve also had the chance to return to instructing a few times, which has been a gratifying experience. 

I’ve been struggling with a lower back injury that I believe I sustained a little under 2 years ago. It’s one of those things where, when it first occurred, I was in a lot of pain but was able to stretch it and nurse it back within a few weeks. After that, however, I’ve gradually experienced more pain whenever I engage in activities which activate the lumbar. While I have been really focusing on stretches and posture, I feel the next steps are to see a professional; the setback I’m experiencing is that I really struggle with the whole “being touched in a vulnerable state by a person I don’t know or trust” type thing. Like, extraordinarily so. This is something I’ve been slowly progressing on. 

I also found out that a teacher of mine from high school passed away a week ago. I wouldn’t say I got along with this teacher; in fact, I recognize that I was an absolute nightmare. I did a lot of coasting and clowning around in high school (which I’m not overly proud of). With reflection, I realize that by no means did I improve this persons life; rather, I made it needlessly more difficult. There is regret and a good bit of shame in that. Moreover, I’m disappointed in myself that it required someone passing for me to make this kind of reflection. Growth is a fickle thing, I suppose. 

A few more updates I can right about, but I’ll save em as a backup idea if I can’t seem to write another blog.