Que Será, Será

I am having some issues with blogs right now. Like every idea I try to produce ends up only half finished, and I’m not sure where to take them? That’s pretty representative of how I’m feeling lately. Like things are all sorta thought out, but I can’t really put anything together or see anything through. There has been a lot of hesitation with my approach to, well, everything. Like I’m afraid to committing to one singular approach or ending, so rather I’m just leaving things unfinished (which is no way to do things either). It’s caused me a lot of stress over things like whether I’m capable of returning to kids classes or to lion dancing, to planning a cross-seas trip, to committing to projects, to working, to trying to take care of myself, to every little thing. Everything can go wrong. What if everything goes wrong?

I’m not one to believe in universal signs or anything like that, but I had a pretty weird week. I saw / heard the phrase “Que sera sera” like, everywhere. Song on the radio, poem of the day subscriptions, quotes in tv shows, it was everywhere. Like I kid you not, I counted over 10 separate, unrelated occurrences in which I experienced it over the last 7 days. As stubborn as I am, when something gets shoved in my face that much, it’s pretty hard to ignore. “Whatever will be, will be”. I’m also pretty sure that that’s the answer to what I’ve been struggling with lately. 

This is something I’ve had to remind myself of time and time again. I’ve blogged about this idea before, as well. What always helps me get through these periods of uncertainty is watching the stars. The coolest thing about star watching (for me) is that, across a seemingly infinite amount of space and vastness, I am so microscopically small yet everything is connected through me all at the same time. My line of sight acts as a nexus that connects galaxies and universes. I am significant. And yet, my incorrect decisions do not impact that phenomenon of space. At the end of the day, no matter what mistakes I make, those stars will still be in the sky. It will still all be okay. I am significant yet equally insignificant. Alas; whatever will be, will be.