Numbers are Not the Sole Definitive

I have discussed my issues with numbers in the past; falling behind causes me to severely lose motivation. I have always viewed numbers as progress (which I am afraid of) and as a “badge”- the defining proof of my martial arts. So yeah, when my numbers struggle, obviously I want to hide from them.

You would think that after all these years, I would comprehend the true nature of numbers a little better. We hear it often enough and the concept itself seems simple enough; good numbers are not the badge of progress itself, but simply a tool designed to earn us that badge. What really helped me understand this better was these last few weeks.

I have been busy. Between work and everything involved for banquet preparation (the prep itself, lion dance, demos, etc.), I have had a lot on my plate physically and mentally. That’s cool, though. I prefer that over going slow (not sure if that is a good thing or not but hey, what can you do). My numbers, while still existing, have slowed down. My pushups and situps, my blogging, my forms, all of it has slowed down over the last few weeks.

But my Kung Fu hasn’t.

A few Saturdays ago, when we did the lion dance at the library after practicing for most of the morning beforehand, I was exhausted. I did not do much for numbers that day. I did a little, but I was REALLY not having a good time that night. I was frustrated. “Why would I let myself get so tired I cannot progress my Kung Fu”, I thought to myself. “Huh. You’re an actual idiot” was my next thought. Not in the sense that I was mad at myself for not giving myself room in my energy spendage for numbers, but for even thinking like that to begin with.

I mean, I spent about 2 hours lion dancing that day. And when I say two hours, I mean two hours of being attached to the belt and under the cloth, not just hanging around. That’s huge! We speak about lion dancing as a keystone fundamental of Kung Fu, so why would I even think that my lion-dancing-induced fatigue was taking AWAY from my Kung Fu? It’s because I am still trying to figure out what numbers actually mean to me, I suppose. 

While our numbers consist of many aspects of our Kung Fu, they do not account for everything. This experience has shown me the value in appreciating all aspects of my training, and not just the stuff that I have to record. I believe this will also help me with my number dilemma. At the same time.. I definitely intend to get myself to a point where I can do EXTRA numbers after lion dancing for two hours. 

Numbers

Situps: 3520

Pushups: 5070

AoK: 98

Katana: 73

Snake: 59

Sparring: 113

Distance (km): 91