Removing My Bamboo Progress

I have a bunch of half-written “training progression” blogs that do not seem to be completing themselves, so instead I will focus on my “personal progression” with this post, or lack thereof. Something I have mentioned before is that I struggle with progress and commitment. I struggle in the face of progress. I struggle recognizing progress I do not actively see. I lack faith in myself. I need to see to believe.

For those not familiar with it, bamboo is a very interesting plant. Once established, it is one of the fastest growing plants of all time, with some species recording a growth rate of nearly 2 inches an hour. However, many bamboo plants will stop growing after only a few months and will never grow again for the rest of its lifespan. As a colony plant, it thrives in quantity; the next generation will grow larger than the previous, and so on and so forth. That is how it collectively grows. 

I wish to see my progress grow the way bamboo does. I wish to physically be able to see the growth. But by doing so, I limit my potential. There are certain aspects of my life I do not want to rely on. I want to grow past them. I want to progress like bamboo. Unfortunately, that is not sustainable. To try and rocket past the things I want to let go will only result in quickly and abruptly hitting a wall, much like bamboo.

“Consistency does not happen fast. You need to realize that doing things the way you are is not fixing anything. You are making it worse.”

This is something I was told the other day (albeit slightly reworded). Not what I wanted to hear, but definitely what I needed to hear. Enough so that I needed to blog about it so I do not forget. Observing my numbers at the end of my posts has helped me a little bit this month, but I am still approaching it with apprehension. I am scared to be deterred. Honestly? I am figuring it out slowly. That is what is important. Slow and steady.

The first step is removing my desire for bamboo progress. My progress should be like that of the great oak forest I visualize with my Kung Fu. Constantly and slowly growing, forever and always, even if it appears to be standing still. Once I complete this… well, I think I will figure that out when I get to it. 

Numbers

Pushups: 2570

Situps: 1620

AoK: 52

Katana: 44

Snake: 37

Sparring: 84

Distance (km): 50  

Little Dancing Lion Dancer

One of the biggest things I have been working on with lion dancing is how I can make the tail come alive without being “too much”. It’s tricky, I think, because I have to rely primarily on feedback from others. I cannot see what I am doing real-time, and even with a video it can be hard to see every angle. 

There is a lot of reliance on the head adding personality and life to the lion and as such, I think it can be easy for a tail to become disillusioned with a lack of responsibility. I have been focusing on making sure I do not fall into the mindset of “I do not have to do anything, the head is responsible”. As such, here are some of the things I have been thinking about during the last few practices.

Watching my partner's feet. With a small, raised stage being occupied by three lions, there have been times in practice where we are very close to the edge of the stage. Not a lot of consequence while practicing, obviously, but if we go over that edge during the real thing? Not good. As such, I have been focusing on making sure I can communicate to my partner when we are on the edge of the stage and making sure I can pull them away from the edge if necessary.

Matching my partner's pace as efficiently as possible. By utilizing the hand on the hip as well as trying to understand how my partner is thinking, I’m trying to reduce the reaction time which is required for me to step after they step, as well as reduce the number of mistakes I make. I think this contributes to being “invisible” as a tail, and can reduce the chance of breaking the image of the lion.  

Being dynamic. I’ve been trying to add movement with the tail in as many ways I can. The biggest ones have included making the body of the lion breathe during the wake up sequence and moving the tail in beat with the drum. These are little things I do not believe will be seen by much of the audience, but contributes to the overall image of the lion.

Also with this, something I have subconsciously begun doing is adding a “sway” to my hips while I am not moving (such as doing the four-corners). By shifting my weight side-to-side while adding tail movement, I’ve been trying to add a level of dynamic that does not make the head seem isolated. 

As a tail, continuing to dance in such a way that I can add life to the lion and take off some of the burden of the head is something I want to continue to develop in my pursuit of being the best I can. 

Numbers

Pushups: 1720

Situps: 1020

AoK: 34

Katana: 29

Snake: 22

Sparring: 65

Distance (km): 32

Living in my Little Oasis

Heyo team, lots of reflection and looking back on the past that occurs in this post. 

I wrote a blog back in February last year titled “Little Oasis”. In the blog, I commented on how the reading week had given me several days to be at home and how I was able to attend nearly every single class in that week. I likened this experience to an oasis, as I only got to experience it few and far between. I also reflected on the importance of understanding that times change; I used to be on the mats several hours a week, and then I wasn’t. That is okay. 

Nearly a year later, I am back living full-time in my little oasis. With school being totally done, I have determined that I currently have only three priorities in my life (for better or for worse). One of these priorities is my Kung Fu. As I am sure everyone knows, I spend a lot of time on the mats throughout the week. I attend every class, and I even try to get on the mats outside of regular class times. I can make the excuse that I am accommodating for lost time, but in actuality I believe I have developed a dependency on the energy I get and the effort I exert from practicing Kung Fu within the Kwoon. 

There are countless reasons as to why being at the Kwoon is more preferable to remote training, that anyone who has spent some time away from the mats could attest to. All and all, it is simply so much better for my engagement and mental health. On the topic of engagement, something I had to be mindful of is that I did not lose my blogging habits as I regained the in-person connection of the Kwoon. I am proud to say that I am still doing okay on that front *insert thumbs up*. 

This is another reminder that times change. Now, I am afraid of the times in which I may be required to miss a night of in-person classes. I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to attend classes in person, but I do not know what five years from now has in store. I get jumpy thinking about it. Another example of the importance of living in the moment and the “where am I, what am I doing” mindset, I suppose. All things I am getting better at. 

Speaking of getting better at things, I am pleased with my progress. When the regular “how is everyone doing” question pops up at meetings, I tend not to answer. In previous years, I did not answer because I was ashamed of how poorly I was doing. Now, I do not answer because I believe I am doing well, and that there is very little I can talk about that I have not already covered in blogs. It feels redundant to say anything. I mean, including the issuing of the monthly mini challenges (which I have chosen to count as blog posts, given the context of the requirement), this post marks my 64th blog during the IHC year. And there was a period where I went nearly an entire month without a post. This is something that never would have happened in the past. 

While I know I cannot become solely dependent on my Little Oasis, I would be lying if I said that my growth did not improve exponentially while I was in it. I am a stubborn plant; I will continue to grow and thrive, no matter my environment. But when placed in one as nutritious and healthy as an oasis, I believe I can flourish with new potential. That is my aim; to continue growing in the moment and not become burdened with the heights I am trying to achieve, but to be content with the growth I gain day-by-day. 

• Push-ups: 840

• Sit-ups: 560

• AoK: 17

• Katana: 15

• Snake: 13

• Sparring: 18
  
• Distance (km): 17
  

The Unsustainable Juggernaut

One of my biggest struggles with physical activity is knowing my limits. When I was younger, I still struggled with this, but I had a fail safe. I was much more lazy than I am today (or so I like to think). These two factors balanced each other out, I believe. Not knowing my limits caused me to push myself, but my lazy nature kept me from going too far. Not a super healthy balance, but I didn’t even care about it back then. And in the instances where I gave it my all, I often ended up exerting myself to unhealthy levels.

Now, I do care. While I am not perfect, I think I have grown past a lot of those troublesome aspects of my personality. However, a problem has arisen. As unhealthy as it was, the balance of sloth and personal disregard was still a balance. Now, as I become more attentive and responsive to my training and improvement, the scale has heavily shifted in favour of the personal disregard. 

I have been struggling with my physical health as of late. There are times where I cannot eat or sleep for extended periods of time, and yet I still try to push myself on the mats the same as I would on a normal day. There are times where this habit lends itself to increased chance of injury and accident. The problem is that I cannot help it. Something about my psychological state dictates that I need to keep going. For better or for worse, that psychological “juggernaut” state lets me do so much more. It makes me excited, it makes me energetic, it makes me want to keep going. I shrug off the little bumps and bruises (and sometimes the big bumps and bruises) and I keep stepping forwards. 

While I cannot help it, I do recognize that it is not always good. I am grateful for those around me who recognize when I begin to run on empty and bring it to my attention. I am sorry for how much I argue back about how this is not the case; I am not the most intelligent. While I have begun adding more self care into my daily regimen, I have also been working on methods which help limit me from pushing myself too far. Those are still a work in progress, however.

Over the past several months, I have been relying a lot on a close friend of mine- someone who goes out of their way to check in on me daily and makes sure I am not pushing myself too hard. While I still like to push myself as far as I can, knowing that someone is actively conscious of my physical wellbeing makes it easier to be aware of it myself. Because of that, I am so remarkably grateful for this person. 

I apologize if this post seems a little discombobulated.. I do not believe I can accurately portray all of my thoughts on the matter. Moral of the story, I believe progress is occurring. I am still getting better. Slowly but surely. 

• Push-ups: 280

• Sit-ups: 160

• AoK: 6

• Katana: 4

• Snake: 4

• Sparring: 7

• Distance (km): 6