Dark Places

    On my way home from class last night, I had a deer run in front of me out of nowhere. However, with the amount of moose and deer I have had to slam on the brakes for this summer, it did not phase me all too much. As I was catching my breath after hitting the brakes with enough force to send my possessions flying off the seat, I noticed a silhouette of a person just off the road, slightly illuminated by the headlights, only slightly in sight.

    While I am sure most would be caught off guard seeing a person right there, this triggered a mental health "episode" for me that I have not experienced, to this extreme, in several years. The moment I processed the shadow, I lost control of my breathing, my ears starting ringing, I began to sweat, and I ultimately lost total control of myself within only a few seconds. To be honest, I am not sure how long I sat there, unable to move and unable to look up. It was not until I began to catch my breath that it occurred to me that the shadow that sent me into such a tizzy was actually just a Halloween decoration placed on the edge of a driveway. 

    Between this realization and conducting the recovery methods I have come up with, I was able to tough out the short remainder of the drive home with no difficulty. Upon reflection after returning home, it occurred to me that I did not think something like this could even happen. I thought I had it totally conquered. I thought I was unbeatable. Delusion got the best of me once again. 

    While shaken that such an event could still happen, I am happy with my recovery time in comparison to what it once was. Maybe the fact that my trigger was simply a scarecrow had something to do with it, but I still believe it is a right proper road to mastery that I have made quite some headway on. And I definitely think I am going to keep to travelling with my brights on. No more surprises for me.