Stand down, Anxiety

Heyo everyone, this weeks blog is about the dangers of over-thinking and unnecessary stress.

So much has happened lately, and so much is happening. I'm at a transition period in my life and right now there is a lot to be stressed about. For me, the biggest things are school, Kung Fu, and my life outside of those. Which isn't much not gonna lie. But yea, I'm pretty much stressing over everything. When you take a step back for a minute, you can look at all the problems you're dealing with and track them down to the source. When looking at my stress levels, everything is caused by my tendency to over-think every scenario, to fear failure, and to worry about it, even if there's no reason to worry.

School. Tomorrow I'm writing my last exam, for arguably my best and yet most difficult subject. I shouldn't be worried about school at this moment, but instead be excited for the two months I have off till next year. But nahhh. I'm still worried about my exam, which I shouldn't be, but I'm more worried about next year. My first semester is going to be a heavy workload, consisting of math, English and social, each a heavy course at the diploma level. I guess I'm also nervous because out of all of my 13 years of schooling, this is the year that counts the most. All of these pressures begin to add up and soon it's rather frightening even to think about.

Kung Fu. Just like school this is one of my biggest years. There's a lot of pressures right now and sometimes it becomes difficult to handle. I tend to panic thinking about everything I still have to do, and how unprepared I think I am. I know that I still have a ways to go, but sometimes I get into the mindset that my Kung Fu is farther behind then everyone says it is, and I begin to panic because I don't have a lot of time to make everything reach my own expectations. This is by far one the worst attitudes I can have. I know that deadlines aren't good and that I should have a more "I'll train as hard as I can and if I'm ready, I'm ready. If I'm not, I am now" mindset. Despite me knowing that the approach I'm taking right now is not the best one, I can't seem to turn it around. Yet.

My outside life. Despite 90% of my time being split between school work and Kung Fu, that little bit of time I have left over is weighing heavily on me as well.
I have to make sure to commit time to friends and family, and on top of that, the stresses of needing to find a job for the summer, something I should have done months ago. Even with more time in the summer, properly dividing my time so I can properly commit to everything I have to is a stresser on its own. I don't want to sever ties or miss opportunities this early in my life because I was too focused on something else, and that thought is an acting pressure on me.

Overall, I'm finding even the tiniest things
stressful right now. That's just natural at this point in life I guess. I have to focus on learning how to cope and tolerate stressers, and how to work my way around them. Somewhere down the line I'll be able to look at this moment and think "Wow. I was such a worry wart."