Stand down, Anxiety

Heyo everyone, this weeks blog is about the dangers of over-thinking and unnecessary stress.

So much has happened lately, and so much is happening. I'm at a transition period in my life and right now there is a lot to be stressed about. For me, the biggest things are school, Kung Fu, and my life outside of those. Which isn't much not gonna lie. But yea, I'm pretty much stressing over everything. When you take a step back for a minute, you can look at all the problems you're dealing with and track them down to the source. When looking at my stress levels, everything is caused by my tendency to over-think every scenario, to fear failure, and to worry about it, even if there's no reason to worry.

School. Tomorrow I'm writing my last exam, for arguably my best and yet most difficult subject. I shouldn't be worried about school at this moment, but instead be excited for the two months I have off till next year. But nahhh. I'm still worried about my exam, which I shouldn't be, but I'm more worried about next year. My first semester is going to be a heavy workload, consisting of math, English and social, each a heavy course at the diploma level. I guess I'm also nervous because out of all of my 13 years of schooling, this is the year that counts the most. All of these pressures begin to add up and soon it's rather frightening even to think about.

Kung Fu. Just like school this is one of my biggest years. There's a lot of pressures right now and sometimes it becomes difficult to handle. I tend to panic thinking about everything I still have to do, and how unprepared I think I am. I know that I still have a ways to go, but sometimes I get into the mindset that my Kung Fu is farther behind then everyone says it is, and I begin to panic because I don't have a lot of time to make everything reach my own expectations. This is by far one the worst attitudes I can have. I know that deadlines aren't good and that I should have a more "I'll train as hard as I can and if I'm ready, I'm ready. If I'm not, I am now" mindset. Despite me knowing that the approach I'm taking right now is not the best one, I can't seem to turn it around. Yet.

My outside life. Despite 90% of my time being split between school work and Kung Fu, that little bit of time I have left over is weighing heavily on me as well.
I have to make sure to commit time to friends and family, and on top of that, the stresses of needing to find a job for the summer, something I should have done months ago. Even with more time in the summer, properly dividing my time so I can properly commit to everything I have to is a stresser on its own. I don't want to sever ties or miss opportunities this early in my life because I was too focused on something else, and that thought is an acting pressure on me.

Overall, I'm finding even the tiniest things
stressful right now. That's just natural at this point in life I guess. I have to focus on learning how to cope and tolerate stressers, and how to work my way around them. Somewhere down the line I'll be able to look at this moment and think "Wow. I was such a worry wart."

Tag, gotcha

Heyo everyone, this weeks blog is going to be about staying connected and the importance of maintaining relationships.

This weekend was a rather busy one, and started strong right out of the gate, as myself and five friends went to go see the new Tag movie in theatres right after school friday. For those who haven't heard about the movie, it's about a group of friends who have been playing the same game of tag for 30 years, every year for the month of May. The game gets pretty intense, from breaking windows to jumping off buildings, and is used to highlight one central purpose: the importance of staying in touch. Despite each of the five friends in the film all living in different cities with families and jobs, they all dedicate the month of May as a way to try and tag one another, and it keeps them in touch. And the best part of this was that it is based on a true story. The concept I found most intriguing was the whole purpose of tag was to have a reason to stay in each other's lives.

I only have a few days left of grade eleven, which means the beginning of the end of the beginning of my life has begun (try saying that ten times fast) (K I just tried it it's actually not that hard). Anywhos, after next year, life will be getting different. My path will inevitably begin to stray from those I currently surround myself with, as a result of moving on to a new life with different choices. However, having a reason to stay connected to the people you have today, despite however far away you may end up, is a good way to have a reason to smile in your tomorrow.

Personally, I am not one to try and stay connected, despite the importance. I find that when left alone, I have the ability to accomplish more for myself then having to be also concerned about those around me. As a result, some of my current intentions do include a pursuit of a rather solitary lifestyle in the future. However, I'm currently finding several reasons to stay in touch, even if just a little bit, to the life I lead now. I doubt anything will get as extreme as a giant game of tag that follows for 30 years, but who knows.

One of the big things right now is the IHC team. Through my four years of partaking, I find it helps me maintain relationships with the same people year after year, which has helped me get through several personal issues. Yet my participation in the IHC will slowly begin to waver as I struggle to search for a foothold in the real world throughout these next few years. The IHC has been a big part of my life: in fact, it makes up 1/4 of it. I have spent 25% of my lifetime on the IHC team, so it is something that I believe is a part of who I am as a person, today. Yet I don't need the IHC program as a way to stay connected to the Kwoon. Despite whatever the future holds, the Kwoon is a home, and all roads lead to home.

With that, I'm slowly beginning to believe that I don't need to get rid of my previous years to make room for the following, however, it is important that I take bits and pieces of both and tie them together, so I can lead the best life I can in the future.

Think About It

Heyo everyone, this weeks blog is going to be about comprehending and understanding the difference between what we know and what we think we know.

In Marine Bio friday, we conducted an excitement that included filtering algae. This took a very long time, and so, to kill time our teacher put on a short movie called "Flatland", which is an adaption of a book and very difficult to obtain by the sounds of it. The movie took place in "flatland", which was located in the second dimension. In the film, the shapes  could not see up or down, as for obvious reasons. They're flat. However, when we look at them from the third dimension, we can see inside them because the third dimension transcends into an area in which it is impossible for the second dimension to even fathom. Likewise, we can barely begin to comprehend a 4th dimension.

The film looked at each the "no-dimension" and the first, second and third. Imagine you place a single cube on the ground. A 1x1 line. Thats the "no-dimension." This place is very controversial because the dimension itself is one being, as theres no where for there to be another. Now, imagine you put 3 cubes in a row. A 3x1 line. This is the first dimension. The first dimension only travels in length, forwards and back. Now imagine you make a 3x3 square on the ground. The second dimension. The second dimension deals with both length and width. However, when comparing the 1st and 2nd, the first dimension has no knowledge or ability to comprehend the concept of width, so they don't believe in it. Back to the cubes, imagine you take your 3x3 square and stack 3 levels high, so its a 3x3x3 cube. The third dimension. Our dimension, in which height now plays a part. When comparing the second and third dimensions, the second dimension has no comprehension of height, so they struggle to believe in the existence of the third dimension. And then there's us. After length, width and height, what comes next?

"Your imagination has no limit" is a term in which we all must remember because it is important, yet also not 100% true. For 99.9% of us, it is impossible to imagine a 4th dimension. Where do we begin? There comes a point where we have to understand that our imaginations need to be both kept in check, and acknowledged. Imagination is our strongest tool and can make or break us. The person who imagined everything and kept his ideas to himself didn't help the world in any way, yet instead let his ideas die with him. When you come up with something a good idea, you have to follow it or it'll vanish. Even though the concept of a fourth dimension seems nearly unfathomable, people still pursue it's structure, and one day maybe we'll know.

Our goals and dreams are something we must tie together and be willing to work for. No one got a black belt by imagining it, no one became good at what they want by dreaming about it. It all starts with a dream, but overtime, it has to develop into an goal, then it can start become true the moment you put your mind to it.

Masked

Heyo everyone, this weeks blog is about anonymity, and how our actions change when we no longer take their repercussions head on.

Mask: a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or terrify other people ~ the dictionary (googles dictionary, to be specific.) A mask is one of the parts of modern society that plays a large role, yet no one really pays much attention to. They contribute to entertaining things, such a pulling pranks or Halloween, yet also are fundamental on a much more serious level, being used in crime and war. Throughout pop culture, the idea of a mask is used to emphasize that the true purpose of a mask is to hide ones identity. Superheroes like Batman and Spider-Man (bear with my short sentence long nerd talk) wear masks to hide their identity, with the intention of a) protecting those they care about and b) so they dont get arrested for illegal vigilante purposes. Yet a mask isn't something that just a  superhero puts on. For those who haven't read Lord of the Flies by William Golding and plan on doing so, the following few sentences contain mild spoilers. Golding develops that a mask, whilst originally used as a method for camoflauge and hunting, develops into a device in which the wearer feels no remorse, regret or responsibility in committing something as serious as cold hearted murder. (End of Spoilers). Whilst we as humans naturally feel responsible and accountable for our actions, masks have a near mystical ability to give the wearer a boost in both confidence and a lesser fear for consequence.

This is something I've picked up on during the last several parades. During my time as the parade Buddha in the last few years, people always exclaim "Thats creepy" or make other similar comments. It's not me they're talking about, its the paper mache mask I'm wearing that they see. As far as the parade watchers were concerned, I was never in that parade. The same way a puppeteer works off stage to manipulate the puppets and is never seen, I manipulate the mask and rope and was never seen. I kinda like it that way. Wearing the mask, I can skip around and approach people and wave and be all out there. Doing the same without a mask, people think "Hm. I guess he finally lost it." So why are masks ok? Why is it ok to hide who you are?

For our case, it's very simple. The mask represents an all knowing Buddha, who plays a key role in the lion dance. We don't use it to hide our identity but to rather represent something else. In some case's such as the use of a mask for crime or acts of war, we view it as wrong, and not ok. But we have our views just as everyone else does. There is no right or wrong way to use a mask, and there's no right or wrong to wearing a mask. But it is something to ponder about.