Deconstruction, Reconstruction

There are a few factors of mine that define me as a martial artist. A major one is that I operate pretty solely on visualizations and “does it feel right”, as opposed to breaking a sequence down and understanding the mechanics behind it. Another is bold, brash, and maybe borderline arrogant confidence. This is probably fueled by the fact that I think that if something feels right, it must be right. Alas, not always the case. 

Recently when reviewing a chunk of Mlon Kuon, it was discovered I was entering a technique from the wrong lead. According to Sifu Rybak, trying to enter the technique from the wrong lead should typically cause a disruption in six harmonies. So why do I do it the way I do, the way that instinctively feels right, when it messes up my harmonies? Easy answer. It doesn’t. 

Apparently, before I launch into the technique, I perform a little hop shuffle adjustment thingy that aligns my weight and timing and harmonies juuuuuust right and bada boom. It’s golden. Apparently, at least. Frankly, I have no idea what I’m doing that makes it work (I’m just trying to reiterate what Sifu Rybak said, but I still haven’t really figured it out myself yet) (she also called me ingenious by the way, thought you all should know) (no take backsies). 

At some point, to compensate for an incorrect habit, I subconsciously deconstructed a move and reconstructed it with a calibration to correct it. I think there are some pretty obvious pros and cons with this, but I’ll talk about them anyway (I am a genuis after all). 

Pros are that my six harmonies are in a state where I both consciously and subconsciously try to achieve them. I am knowledgeable about my body and the way it needs to move. Heck yeah. Thumbs up. 

Cons? I do things wrong and don’t realize it, I guess. I think I need to have more confidence in this aspect, because I do things right. I know what I’m doing. I think. It know what feels right, at least. And hey, feeling right is the first step?

BTSW Time Commitment and Afterward

Over the course of BTSW, I had the opportunity to be at the Kwoon for approximately 35h total over the Monday - Thursday. I was thankful for this opportunity (and the overtime hours I had accrued at work that let me take this time off so easily), as it was my first BTSW in several years. During this time, I got to take part in lots of projects and different roles. 

I am happy with how several of the projects turned out; I am also happy with being able to say I contributed to improving the Kwoon. The student turn-out was pretty minimal this year, which is unfortunate to say the least, but I am happy that more people showed up for the potato bake. For next year, maybe Ill take the time to promote the actual clean-up week a little better? Needless to say, there was plenty of learning opportunities for me in every corner. 

I am pleased with the leadership opportunities that were provided to me during this week as well. Taking the opportunities to develop my leadership abilities is something that is very important to me; it is one of my greatest sources of imposter syndrome and I will always take the opportunity to hone it. I also learnt the names of most of the lions! Like, their full names. I am trying to use those names more often now too.

On a different note, it feels like I have been getting nothing but bad news and tough personal dilemmas since the conclusion of BTSW. I was considering making this into its own blog, but lets just mush it all together hm? A focus of mine is strength in every form; when faced with constant and consistent bad news, it can be very easy to succumb to the negative emotions that follow. I am trying not to let everything get me bogged down; this is easily the most difficult thing to do during the night, I admit. 

I blogged about mental health in my last blog and don't necessarily want to drain this creek dry, but it gets hard to focus on Kung Fu when everything seems to be going the way I really did not want it to go. I am going to be drastically increasing my physical training soon again, I think. I got into a mind rut where I convinced myself that the harder I pushed myself and the harder I made my heartrate go, the harder I mentally crashed afterwards. As I have been working with my doctor for sometime, I want to slowly ease myself back into actually improving my endurance and physical fitness. 

Numbers (Per Last 7 Days)

Push-Ups: 142, 142, 100, 80, 40, 100, 60

Sit-Ups: 142, 142, 100, 80, 40, 60, 60

AOK: 5 per day

KM: ~14 total